Why I ... Married George

Looking back to the day i married George, i now realize it was the biggest mistake of my life. When I first met him, he was everything i could have ever wanted in a man. He was handsome, polite, funny, and gave me everything i needed at the time. He was the love of my life. I thought we were going to grow old and happy together. I thought he was going to be able to provide for me, but boy was i wrong. I should have listened to the first signs of trouble. On our wedding day, he had to barrow a suit from someone because he couldn't afford his own. I should have used that as a sign of trouble and unhappiness in the future. I didn't listen to my gut. When I married him, i thought we would be in love forever no matter the situation. As time went on, i started getting irritated and resentful. I always hated and blamed myself for marrying such a poor man. I always wished the situation was different and that we had money. I should have married someone who could always support me mentally and financially. Money was such a deciding factor in a man for me and George didn't have that. As i got older and needed more and more money, i realized how useless George was to me. I married George because of the amazing man he was but i needed a man who could support me and love me at the same time.

What I was Feeling When.. George Found out I was Having an Affair

"Silly silly George" is all i ever thought during my affair with Tom. For months George was so oblivious to my shenanigans with Tom. I didn't think i would ever get caught. I felt guilty all those months but at the same time, Tom made me happy and that was all that mattered to me. I didn't love George so why should i be loyal to him? Why should I waste my life being unhappy? When George found the dog collar and put the pieces together, i felt so guilty and so shameful. At the same time i was revealed. I thought maybe if George knew about the affair, he would finally leave me so i could be with Tom. But that was just my wishful thinking. Instead of that, he locked me away in my room and hid me from the world. I was so heartbroken and upset, i knew my sneaking around had come to an end. George thought that instead of letting me go, he would hide me from everyone else so that i could never be happy and would always have to stay loyal to him. In a way i felt that this was George's fault, he did it to himself. If he had given me what i wanted and provided for me, i wouldn't have had to have an affair. I was so shocked that George had finally opened his eyes and realized that i didn't love him. I thought that George knowing about the affair would make things better for me, but instead i was killed because of it.

Why I... Ran Out in Front of the Car

When i was running towards the car, all i could think about was Tom. I was being hidden and kept away from the world that was in front of me. I recognized Tom's yellow car he always drove over to the shop. When he drove past the shop earlier that day, i told myself i would escape my life to be with him on his way back from New York. When i saw the yellow car coming, I assumed it was him so i ran towards him as a sign of help. I wanted Tom to help me, I need to be saved. I wanted him to take me away from George forever. I took the chance of running out of the house because i wasn't sure when the last time i would see him would be. I knew George and I would be moving soon and that i was going to miss Tom dearly. The life i had always wanted and dreamed of was with Tom, not George. I didn't want to move away from the love of my life. I felt like i was a dog on a leash. George was dragging me along. I was so caught up in the moment and so focused on being with Tom, i ruined my life. My marriage with George was slowly fading and my heart was always with Tom. Tom was supposed to be my saving grace but little did i know, Tom wasn't in that little yellow car.

What I Was Feeling- The Day I Got Killed

On the day i was killed, i was just trying to find a way out of the life i never wanted. The only thing i could think about was running to Tom and being with him forever. Whenever i was with Tom, he made me happier than anyone else ever had. I wanted to get away from George for good. Every day i would ask myself why i ever married him. I was running to Tom in hope for a better life, but instead it got me killed. Not only am i furious with myself for running, but i am furious with Daisy for hitting me and getting away with it. She should have to pay for this. She treated me as if i was worthless and just drove off like nothing was wrong. My life didn't matter to her. Even though she didn't know about the affair, I was enraged that it was her of all people. She had caused enough damage in my life, and now she was pulling the final straw. The worst memory of that day is the moment i was struck by the yellow car. I flew into the air and i remember lying on the cold, hard ground thinking about Tom. I knew at any second i was going to take my last breath and i wouldn't be able to say goodbye to him. I thought about the last moments we had spent together and what he was going to think of me. I quickly said a prayer asking God to watch over him, then finally took my final breath.

What I Was Thinking - When Tom Punched Me

When Tom punched me, I knew i was being abused. I was dumb for not reacting but i couldn't have risked everything i was being given. Tom was a wealthy man, he spoiled me and showered me with gifts. That's why i loved him so much. It was either take the pain and keep the gifts, or fight back and lose everything. I could always get what I wanted from Tom. I could throw lavish parties at the apartment he owned and even buy puppies off the street. Whenever he abused me, I would always think about everything i would be throwing away if i left him. I couldn't get any of that lavish life from George. I realized that my eyes were bigger than my heart and I had lost my sense of what was right. I was also scared because Tom had so much control over me. When he hit me, I felt like he was betraying me. After all the love i had given him, he was treating me like trash. All I had done was say a woman's name. Saying her name made me feel like i had power over him. He was mad and i didn't think he could stop me, but before i knew it there was blood gushing from my face. He was allowed to cheat on her but then was defending her name. I was humiliated. He embarrassed me in front of all of our guests. I wanted to hate him but my mind kept telling me not to. I was afraid that if I fought back, he would leave me for another woman. Tom was the man in charge of our relationship, it was either his way or the highway. I had never thought of Tom as an abusive man, but it was at that moment that i realized he wasn't as sweet as he seemed. I realized that i needed to put my guard up, Tom was not to be trusted. At any second he could end our relationship. 

What I Was Thinking - When I Cheated on My Husband

I wanted an escape. I wasn't happy with my life or the way I was being treated. I wanted out of my marriage with George. I never wanted to hurt him, but i was tired of being restricted. I didn't want to give up everything George had given me. I wanted something new, fun, and exciting. Tom gave me that. Tom treated me much better than George did. George was always trying to hide me in that small room above the shop. I felt like my precious life was being wasted away. It was unfair to me, i needed to get away.I wanted to be able to do what i wanted when i wanted. I wanted to be able party and live the life i never had.By law i was with George, but my heart was with Tom. Tom made me feel special, he promised me things, and i fell in love with the way he looked at me. I wanted to be free and Tom gave me that freedom. I knew what i was doing was wrong, but my happiness was most important. Tom had a lot of money, which is something George could never provide me with. The lavish life is always something i had wanted. I had settled for less with George and now i wanted something better. I had never been the type of girl to cheat, but i had no choice. I didn't love George like i used to. Maybe I married the wrong man. Was Tom supposed to be my soulmate?